Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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