I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
