Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
pray to the hookup gods
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
