i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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