i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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