she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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