I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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