she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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