I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
