just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
