I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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