it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
