Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
