hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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