You can't special order awesome
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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