On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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