he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
