pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
