quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
