can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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