I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So many bounce houses so little time
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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