drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
