i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
