I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
