not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
