the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
