is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
