So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
