even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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