I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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