shes about as inviting as chlamydia
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
