I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My brain says no but my pants say off.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
