Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
