I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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