i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
