i just wanna soil my oats bro
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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