So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
