How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
True strength comes from lack of pants
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
