i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
