i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
