I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
