i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
