why didn't you poke me back
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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