apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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