2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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