real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
