my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She announced her abortion via fbk
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize