he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
