You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
