Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
