I heard we made out
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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