This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
