Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
