Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
