I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
