Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
