38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
