Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
