How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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