I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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