I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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