2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
